Insomnia

(count me. i dare ya.)

Insomnia:
The inability to sleep.

Symptoms:
Waking up at random times during the night for absolutely no reason, and then finally getting out of bed at 5 a.m. just like my dad used to do when he was like 80 years old even though I would kindly tell him just go back to bed for pete's sake, what the heck is wrong with you.

Causes:
1. For other people - getting old.
2. For me - the stress of my extremely demanding job, which is not all that extreme or demanding but clearly #1 cannot possibly apply, so there you have it.

Treatment:
Warm bath
Warm milk
Relaxing music
Boring movies
Counting sheep
Darned if I know. Any suggestions?

~~~

Insomnia

(enjoy it while you can, kiddo)

Insomnia is so perplexing. Please explain this to me!

My 2-year-old granddaughter refuses to nap, even though she really really needs one because she turns into Zombie Baby by 2:00 pm, Whirling Dervish Baby by 5:00 pm, and Tammy Faye Baker On A Really Bad Day Baby by 7:00 pm.

I would give anything for a nice relaxing nap, but I'm afraid if I take a nap I will not sleep well at night, even though as it is I wake up at 3:00 am, 4:00 am, and 5:00 am and usually get up in desperation at 5:30 and start drinking coffee, which may have something to do with it but there is no way I'm giving up my coffee. Don't even think about it.

My little yellow Dell laptop also refuses to sleep, popping awake at random times and often restarting with that alarming black screen of death, which according to online computer experts can be easily solved:

"Simply launch regedit.exe at the command prompt and load the System hive. Modify the key value by following the next three steps, which appear to be written in Japanese, then reboot the system normally."

I have no clue what any of that means, so very soon I will resort to throwing the aforementioned laptop against the wall, System hive and all.

Especially if I see that black screen of death before my second cup of coffee.

Sleep is very important. Could I have some please?

~~~