I am saved!

(well whaddya know! there ARE foods without sodium, after all)

(this close-up says it all: Sodium OMG)

I went back to my trusted family physician today. No, not the one at the clinic. I'm talking about the self-serve blood pressure machine at WalMart.

Dr. Self-Serve has a wonderful way of making me feel comfortable. He squeezes my arm. He instructs me to relax. And he doesn't charge me a penny.

Today, he gave me good news! My blood pressure was only 127 over 75! That is well within the normal ranges, according to the helpful chart on the machine, right next to the warning about not relying upon the accuracy of the machine or attempting to self-medicate for high blood pressure.

No worries! I am normal now. (... waiting for my husband to make a snide comment ...) But while I was at WalMart, I thought I might as well investigate some lower-sodium foods. Just in case.

I found quite a few!

They had low-sodium Triscuits, which are surprisingly good when topped with melted cheese.




Turns out Shredded Wheat is sodium-free! (I may be the only person who really considers this good news.)



I tried to find low-sodium salad dressing, but to no avail. So, being the creative and resourceful person that I am, I made my own! One part vinegar, two parts oil ... shake well, and mix in equal parts of Good Seasons. It's not sodium-free, and it looks awful, but it's a step in the right direction.

I have no idea who put these in my cart.

~~~

Why I am doomed

(weapon of mass destruction)

I went to the doctor the other day. I will spare you the details. Let's just say, I never go to the doctor unless I am extremely terribly uncomfortable. In fact, before I go to the doctor I email my sisters to see if my condition is just a genetic fluke, search the internet for herbs, vitamins or home remedies, and rummage through the medicine chest for old, expired prescriptions.

Then I wait a week to see if it goes away. Two weeks if I can stand the pain. That's how much I hate going to the doctor.

Anyway, this condition I had which shall remain nameless became very uncomfortable very quickly. So off I went.

The condition turned out to be something quite minor and easy to treat. But while I was there, I learned that I am doomed.

The nurse took my blood pressure and looked at me with raised eyebrows. "It's 164 over 95," she said with alarm. "That is quite high."

"Well, maybe it's because I am in excruciating pain," I said hopefully.

"Hmm," she said, looking at me like I was a complete idiot.

The doctor came and went, never mentioning my sky-high blood pressure. I'm sure he didn't want to be the one to tell me that my days are numbered. He probably didn't want to go through that awkward moment, like in Terms of Endearment, where the doctor can't even say the words and the poor sickly patient (me) has to say through her tears, "I know what you're telling me. I need to figure out (sob) what to do with my kids." I didn't really want to go through that moment either. So I didn't bring it up.

But a few days later, my husband and I were at Walmart and I dragged him over to the free blood pressure machine.

It was still high.

Not quite as high as before, but not good. Yikes. Maybe it's time to pay attention to my diet. I'm not overweight, but I do eat an awful lot of salt. In fact, more salt than I ever realized. Today, I kept track.

Breakfast alone could kill me. Did you know there are 220 milligrams of salt in a SINGLE SLICE of sourdough bread?? Plus another 90 milligrams in each tablespoon of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, which I Can't Believe Is Not Good For Me!!

I normally snack on cheese (130 mg) and Triscuits (180 mg) and peanuts (115 mg) and potato chips (don't ask). For dinner, I love Good Seasons salad dressing (320 mg!) and spaghetti with Ragu (580 mg!!).

Even Little Debbie Zebra Cakes have 170 mg of sodium!

No wonder the doctor didn't say anything. It's just not good news.

~~~