Help Wanted

(i don't think i would qualify for this one, either)

From time to time, I browse the online job boards, looking for a real job. I do already have a job, but I nostalgically wish for health insurance, paid vacations and sweet, friendly co-workers who would stop by my desk to chat and bring in a cake on my birthday.

Unfortunately, most of the jobs that are listed online have ridiculous requirements such as working 5 days a week (even in the summer!), wearing shoes at all times, and staying awake for at least 8 consecutive hours.

I did spot an interesting posting this morning. It was for a freelance copywriting opportunity here in Dallas. I meet all the requirements except one - "at least a working knowledge of InDesign" - so I thought, maybe I should buy InDesign and putter around with it a bit. How hard could it be?

Off I went to the InDesign website, where I discovered that, hey, there is also a program called InCopy! Perfect! Off I went to the InCopy page, where I learned that I can:

• "Easily correct overset text without impacting table design"

• "Easily edit content that appears in nonhorizontal alignment thanks to support for rotation in 90-degree increments"

• Easily spend several hundred dollars for easy software that will easily be over my head within, easily, the first 60 seconds after I finish downloading it

I didn't want that job anyway.

~~~