(unemployed? clearly you are not trying very hard)
Hilarious Craigslist job listing that I swear I did not make up # 3:
Wiener Man, Fort Worth's best wiener food truck is now hiring all positions; cashier, grill, expidite and truck leads. Get into this fast-growing industry on the ground floor as we would like to promote from within. We serve amazing wieners and encourage patrons to put them in their mouths frequently. Please reply via this ad with a short description of yourself and/or a resume. See you soon!
Dear Wiener Man: I'm sure your wieners are amazing but you will not be seeing me soon.