Thursday, September 17, 2009

Seriously terrible Halloween costumes

Attention all parents!! If you haven't already bought your child's Halloween costume, you are almost too late!! The Christmas departments are up and running in all the stores. Get a move on!!

Here are a few costume suggestions for parents who either
a.) waited too long and now have no good costumes to choose from, or
b.) secretly aren't all that crazy about their children.

Suggestion # 1: UPS Man
(seriously. does it get any more boring than this?)

Suggestion # 2: Postal Worker

(warning: do not buy this costume if your child already has anger issues)

Suggestion # 3: A Two-Headed Monkey

(this is kind of a cute costume but personally, the 2-head thing kind of freaks me out)

Suggestion # 4: A Nerdy Little Golfer

(do you want your child to get beat up in nursery school? this outfit should do it)

Suggestion # 5: A Peeing Puppy

(mommmm! can you unzip my costume so i can use my hydrant?)

Of course, if you insist on dressing up your little darlings in one of these costumes, the least you can do is to buy one for yourself!

(i dare you.)



Lazy Writer said...

Those are great! I'm not a huge fan of Halloween. It's always a bid ordeal to find costumes for the kids. Thankfully, mine are just about to outgrow the costume stage.

Fran Hill said...

If anyone appeared at my door looking like any of these - no matter how young and vulnerable - there will be a murder.

Lesley said...

Aww, Fran, I was going to show up at your door in my body-builder costume! Guess I'd better not.

Amanda said...

These costumes are awful.

I'm thinking of wrapping my kids in aluminum foil and calling them baked potatoes this year.

The Retired One said...

I kind of like the peeing puppy one. ha
For you, you can go and get a cardboard box and a lampshade. Make the box look like a bedside table, complete with a drawer of condoms, KY jelly, etc. Cut a hole in the table so your body goes thru it and put the lampshade over your head. Call it a "one night stand". It won a prize at our last Halloween party!!!


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