Have you heard about Filippa Hamilton, the model who was fired by Ralph Lauren for being too fat? Here is her picture. Beware, she truly is disturbingly overweight. Make your children leave the room before you scroll down.
You see what I mean? Hideous. Shame on her. She really let herself go. Fortunately, through the magic of Photoshop, Ralph was able to make her look like this:
SOOOO much better! We all want to look like this, right ladies? I mean, I've always wanted my bracelets to fit around my waist. And it just looks SO good when the widest part of your entire body is your HEAD. Right?
Now, I'm not a big person myself. Never have been. In fact, I've always been a little weird about food.
When I was 4 or 5, I used to drop my dinner behind the radiator, a piece at a time. That worked fine until one day when Dad turned the heat on. Pee-uu.
In my teen years, I was encouraged in my anti-food-ness by Twiggy, the first skinny supermodel who is downright chubby by today's standards. She even had cheeks. On her face, that is.
I used to blame people like Ralph Lauren for at least part of my food weirdness. But then, today, I found the real cause.
My mother's recipes.
I came across a little green metal tin while I was cleaning out a closet. It is stuffed with index cards containing recipes in my mother's handwriting.
Now, my mom used to throw fabulous dinner parties for sophisticated faculty members and assorted friends. They would all dress up and clink glasses and laugh merrily. I loved the clinking and the laughing and even the smell of the cigarettes.
But really. How appetizing do these yummy dinner recipes sound?
~ Fish Sticks in Mustard Toast
~ Creamy Grits Souffle
~ Vegetable Aspic
~ Seafood Curry Shortcake
There is one recipe that I just might try during the upcoming holiday season. Or later today. Here are the ingredients:
1 pound confectioner's sugar
4 cups whiskey
2 cups rum
1 1/2 quart milk
1 1/2 quart heavy cream
My mom wrote a note at the bottom:
"Dark rum is good."
I'm thinking this explains a lot.