(isn't this FUN?)
3:45 a.m. - Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! The lines are forming already!!
4:15 a.m. - (Screech out of the driveway, run over a suspicious bump, and knock over the neighbor's garbage can) Leave it!! You can pick it up later! And the cat will be fine!
4:40 a.m. - Park anywhere!! Here is fine! I can see the line, it's wrapping all the way around the building! Oh wait, this is a handicapped space! Get out so I can break your leg!! It will be SO worth it, trust me!
4:59 a.m. - Ok, it's almost time. Quick. Memorize this map. I'll run to the automotive department and grab the $12.50 laptop and the Texas Edition Secede Or Die iPod. You head straight for the deli department for the 3-Million-Piece-Baby-Einstein-Build-Your-Own-Miniature-Manhattan-Lego Kit, then run to the left and search the freezer case for the 75-inch TV. And they're all out of carts, so DON'T DROP IT!
5:00 a.m. - THE DOOR IS OPENING!! GOOOOOOO!
6:00 a.m. - What are you doing out here in the car??!! Do you KNOW how long I've been looking for you??!! Where's the TV? And what is this wimpy 1-Million-Piece-Build-Eau-Claire-Wisconsin-Lego Kit? Who the heck wants that?
Oh well. I didn't do much better. The laptops were gone by 5:01. And they only had one iPod. I was first in line for it, but this little kid lit my hair on fire and his sister grabbed the iPod and ran. I guess I deserved it for pushing their mom into that bin of discount movies.
Hey, I did find a copy of Elf for $3.99. Let's go home and watch it. I just love the holidays!