Friday, February 6, 2009

Carpal Tunnel Bad Hair Day Syndrome

My new haircut gave me carpal tunnel syndrome.

It's not surprising, really. My hair has never been particularly cooperative. To start with, I have way more of it than I need. I'm a small person, but I've always had big hair. From a distance I look like a blonde Q-Tip that's been through the washer a time or two.

My hair is wavy, but not wavy enough to look cute or be in style. Just wavy enough to stick out at random angles.

It's thicker on one side than the other. So I always look a little off balance.

And it grows faster than bamboo.

I've tried all kinds of styling tips and tools. I tried scrunching it and letting it air dry.

Here is what I was hoping for:

Here's what I got:

I tried straightening it with a Chi, the latest super-duper styling tool that heats up to a million degrees Fahrenheit in 60 seconds flat.

(Important tip: if you drop the Chi while using it, do not try to catch it. Let it fall. Trust me.)

I was hoping the Chi would make me look like this:

But I ended up looking more like this:

I just don't have the knack.

But THEN, yesterday, I went to a new hair stylist. She did a great job. She whipped out her blow-dryer and a round brush the size of a 40-gallon industrial drum, and within a few minutes she had me looking really cute. She insisted that I could do it at home. All I needed was a round brush like hers.

I bought the brush, toodled on home, and woke up this morning full of optimism. I hopped in the shower, washed my newly-trimmed hair, and faced the mirror with confidence.

Then I picked up the brush. Holy cow, that thing is heavy. For her, it glided through my hair. For me, it got all snagged up. For her, it lifted and styled. For me, it pouffed and frizzed. Half an hour later, I hobbled out of the bathroom, gingerly holding my wrist.

How do I look after all that work? Pretty much like I always do. A little wavy, a little frizzy, a little off balance.

A less determined person might be tempted to give up at this point. But I hear there's a new styling gel made from beeswax, aloe and quick-dry cement ... it might be worth a try.


gaf85 said...

LOL! That is a hilarious hair story. I always found it interesting that people with straight hair wish they had curly and vice versa. I have dead straight hair and when perms were popular I had mine curled but now when I look back at pictures from that time I think I looked like a poodle.

Fran Hill said...

That story was so funny. Your pictures made me laugh out loud. I had a perm once on my dead straight, short black hair, and, OK, at first it made me look like I'd been electrocuted, but I hoped it would calm down. We had a church group round that evening, and one man giggled all through the prayers, Bible study and chat. When I asked him at the end why, he just pointed at my hair and dissolved into laughter yet again.
I guess I don't need to tell you that was the last time I had a perm.

Trey Baird said...

I remember when I had long hair. Mine is wavy too, so I can completely relate to this story. This story made me smile.

John Cannata said...

I love the first comparison with Nolte. Very funny!

Lesley said...

Gaf and Fran - Perms always seem like a good idea at the time! My husband used to get perms back in the old days - I'd dig up the pictures and post them, but then I'd have to get a divorce.

Trey and John - Thanks for stopping by! John, I see we are in the same city. Small world!

Lou said... are very funny! I LOVED the first comparison picture with Nick Nolte...i wasn't expecting it! Made me laugh out loud. :)

Skythia Haven said...

Carpal tunnel syndrome is a compression on the the median nerve due to prolong typing, computer gaming and writing. You can check more information on this site and read more articles on our experts advice.


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