(weapon of mass destruction)
I went to the doctor the other day. I will spare you the details. Let's just say, I never go to the doctor unless I am extremely terribly uncomfortable. In fact, before I go to the doctor I email my sisters to see if my condition is just a genetic fluke, search the internet for herbs, vitamins or home remedies, and rummage through the medicine chest for old, expired prescriptions.
Then I wait a week to see if it goes away. Two weeks if I can stand the pain. That's how much I hate going to the doctor.
Anyway, this condition I had which shall remain nameless became very uncomfortable very quickly. So off I went.
The condition turned out to be something quite minor and easy to treat. But while I was there, I learned that I am doomed.
The nurse took my blood pressure and looked at me with raised eyebrows. "It's 164 over 95," she said with alarm. "That is quite high."
"Well, maybe it's because I am in excruciating pain," I said hopefully.
"Hmm," she said, looking at me like I was a complete idiot.
The doctor came and went, never mentioning my sky-high blood pressure. I'm sure he didn't want to be the one to tell me that my days are numbered. He probably didn't want to go through that awkward moment, like in Terms of Endearment, where the doctor can't even say the words and the poor sickly patient (me) has to say through her tears, "I know what you're telling me. I need to figure out (sob) what to do with my kids." I didn't really want to go through that moment either. So I didn't bring it up.
But a few days later, my husband and I were at Walmart and I dragged him over to the free blood pressure machine.
It was still high.
Not quite as high as before, but not good. Yikes. Maybe it's time to pay attention to my diet. I'm not overweight, but I do eat an awful lot of salt. In fact, more salt than I ever realized. Today, I kept track.
Breakfast alone could kill me. Did you know there are 220 milligrams of salt in a SINGLE SLICE of sourdough bread?? Plus another 90 milligrams in each tablespoon of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, which I Can't Believe Is Not Good For Me!!
I normally snack on cheese (130 mg) and Triscuits (180 mg) and peanuts (115 mg) and potato chips (don't ask). For dinner, I love Good Seasons salad dressing (320 mg!) and spaghetti with Ragu (580 mg!!).
Even Little Debbie Zebra Cakes have 170 mg of sodium!
No wonder the doctor didn't say anything. It's just not good news.