Saturday, August 29, 2009

Why I may be getting divorced




This may come as a shock to you. Especially if you are my husband. But I fear that a divorce is imminent.

Why? you ask.

I'll tell you.

For the past 3 years my wonderful hubby has been out of town, every other week. Yes, he was a traveling salesman. Was. Business has slowed down, and his company now has him working at home.

My home.

In my office, as a matter of fact.

Clearly, I have grounds for divorce.

Grounds # 1: Irreconcilable differences.


(see that remote? it was all mine for the past 3 years. but now instead of hgtv, it keeps turning the channel to the james bond marathon on spike tv)


Grounds # 2: Invasion of space.


(his stuff, in my office)


Grounds # 3: Smoothies.



(yes, you heard me right. smoothies. which mess up my blender. which i hate to wash because without fail i cut my finger on that sharp little blade which was invented by satan)


So there you have it. If we end up divorced, you will know that it has nothing to do with a certain innocent party snapping her chewing gum, eating potato chips in bed or watching Rear Window every night for a month, starting the movie ten minutes later each time because she keeps falling asleep and she to this day does not know if Raymond Burr is a killer or not.

It was all his fault.

~~~







9 comments:

Fran Hill said...

You definitely have grounds, not just for divorce, but for a crime of passion (passion for the remote control, obviously).

Lily said...

Hubby calls the remote, "Precious." The grands called it that first. They think Papaw is like Gullom when it comes to his 'precious'.

You definitely have grounds. Rear Window is FABULOUS with a giant F!

Amanda said...

Why is it that husbands ALWAYS get in the way?

Sometimes I wish I could ship mine off to some other wife for a few days. Then he could clip his dagger like toenails in HER house. Yuk.

Lazy Writer said...

Oh, yeah, definite grounds! I think my husband I would kill each other if he worked from home.

Friko said...

Omigod, that is invasion of the nastiest sort! You cannot let him get away with that!
Ad what is it with men and the remote - Mine considers it as an extension of his right hand. Only when he's had enough TV and is just about to take the dog out for a last pee, does he hand it over to me with the words: 'you want'?

Rae said...

I think you had the right idea when you commented on my retired shadow husband following me. We really need to send both of them off together to golf etc, so we can have our own space and time.

Hootin' Anni said...

LOL....I thought the same way when my dear man retired and was home 24/7....now, after 10 years of him with me....I think it's great and wish we'd retired before we even STARTED working.

If the remote is grounds...then, demand a TV/remote for yourself. There are ways.

Lesley said...

Thanks gals! I knew I could count on you for support.
haha

The Retired One said...

I think you can get him on grounds of spousal abuse. You can call us all as witnesses.
Oh.
And one morething: white carpeting?
Wow. I admire you more every day!!!

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin

Pinterest