Saturday, September 26, 2009

The recession is over!

(we're in the money! ok, we're in the pennies. but it's a start.)

I saw a story on MSNBC this morning explaining that the recession is over. How do they know? Because sales of blue jeans are up.

That makes no sense to me.

When I buy blue jeans, it means that my one and only 8-year-old pair of Gap Totally Out Of Style Boot Cut Jeans have either:

A. Shrunk drastically because my dryer is apparently making everything smaller except my hips


B. Developed a hole in the knee which might be stylish if I was 18 but would just be tacky at my age.

So how will we know when the recession is really over? That's easy.

Sales of the following products will soar:

~ Charmin Ultra Toilet Paper. Yay! No more cheap-o see-through Toilet Paper which dissolves on contact with anything including air.

~ Folger's Black Silk Coffee. This is truly good stuff but for some reason it costs extra. I can't wait to buy it again! I might even be nice in the morning. Don't count on it, but I might.

~ Bunny slippers. When the recession is over we can all relax a little. Bunny slippers are the perfect place to start.

Mark my words. These are the products to watch. On the other hand, if sales of Kroger brand extra-thin-sliced-nearly-see-through- but-guaranteed-never-to-mold white bread start to reach new heights - look out. There may be trouble ahead.



Amanda said...

JUST bought a new pair of jeans today. I had a good excuse though. Hole in the crotch.

Not a good look when you're trying to have a serious conversation with your daughter's teacher.

I'm STILL buying that cheap-o toilet paper...

Lily said...

Bunny slippers would be a great way to start!

Rae said...

I agree. Maybe I better go buy some stock in Charmin before the rally. When I get rich from it, I wanna tell everyone that flushing makes money.

Lesley said...

Amanda: Ah ha! So YOU'RE the one behind the spike in blue jeans sales. I'd say a hole in that-certain-area is a good reason for a new pair.

Lily: I once worked at an elementary school where the principal wore bunny slippers. I think they kept her sane.

Rae: Good strategy! You'll probably do better than me, with my diversified portfolio of this-and-that.

The Retired One said...

I SO agree with you.
The only reason blue jean sales are up is because old baby boomers like me can't fit into their jeans anymore from eating cheap pasta meals during the recession and their kids have hidden their old acid-washed straight legged, high waisted, too-tight mama jeans from them, forcing them to go out and purchase more. :-}
Oh, and if I were you, I'd put stock in Poise pads and baby boomers.

Lesley said...

Retired One: Thanks for the stock tips! At this rate, I might be able to build my IRA back up just in time for the next crash! yay

~~Ellie Kings~~ said...

Funny thing, my fiance told me today in his own words..."Could you please get a new pair of jeans, I'm tired of looking at you turn blue for hours at a time from trying to fit into a pair from ten years ago!" Well, now after reading this blog and with the recession and all I'm wondering if I should keep waiting to get 40 pds thinner.

Lesley said...

Ellie, welcome to My Turn To Talk! I'm always excited to get new followers. I tried to comment on your blog but had some technical problems. I'll try again soon. (your blog is lovely!)

~~Ellie Kings~~ said...

Thanks Leslie... I'm still working on it. Sometimes I have no clue what I'm doing, but it's getting there!:)


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