Saturday, November 6, 2010

Seriously Terrible Holiday Gifts (Part 4)

(pretty in pink! perfect gifts for girls)

Dear J.C. Penney,

Well, you've done it again! I thought your Christmas catalog's gift selection for boys just couldn't be beat. But I was wrong! The pages for girls are even better!

I could tell immediately that I had reached the girls' section of the catalog. I mean, that bright pink background just shouts, "Calling all girls!" ... either that or "Pass the Pepto-Bismol, I TOLD you that salmon didn't smell right."

But no. You know I'm kidding! Every girl loves pink. And apparently every girl has an unrelenting, nearly-pathological desire to be a princess. Or a mother. Or perhaps a coy, coquette-ish Southern belle with pearls, gloves, and a hideous hat.

We could use more girls like this in the world, let me tell you. I am SO relieved that the "Women's Lib" movement that was such a big deal during my own formative years is finally, once and for all, completely forgotten.

I mean, honestly, what self-respecting woman wants to dress like a man and cart around an ugly brown briefcase?

I myself would much rather put on my crown, fold up my Majestic Magic Mirror Dresser Suitcase With A Real, Battery-Operated Hair Dryer ($49.99) and stroll over to a friend's house to try on each other's tiaras.

Happy Holidays to you and yours, J.C. Penney! Hats off to your Christmas catalog! Or maybe I should say "tiaras off!" Ha. Ha.




Fran said...

Oh dear. They should rename the catalogue 'Presents to make sure your child leaves home at 16'.

Lesley said...

If the little girls get the message, they will be married and have at least 2 children by the time they're 16. Though I suppose they could very well still live at home ... lol

momtoS said...

I ran across you rblog today. LOL. I have two girls. No JCPenney here. They are getting Star Wars Legos, and Star Wars princesses here. (They also ride snow machines, tractors, dig in dirt etc.)

Bruce Coltin said...

Happy New Year, Lesley!

Lily Robinson said...

My oldest granddaughter was broken hearted when she discovered (was told) that she was not actually a real princess.


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