(this show now makes sense to me)
I'm sure you are all wondering how my career is going. After all, I've had a real job for almost a year now. I go to an office. I wear shoes every day. I have co-workers. After many years of freelancing, these are not small changes.
Here are some of the things I have learned so far:
1. If they offer you a promotion, don't assume that's a good thing. Be sure to ask (a) if you will now be responsible for making sure other people do their jobs; (b) if you will now be expected to work longer hours, preferably without whining; and (c) if your paycheck will now be bigger.
2. An old dog can try to learn new tricks, but the other dogs will not be fooled. You might as well go ahead and ask your stupid questions, such as "How did you make that amazing pie chart? From Excel? Really??" ... if you're lucky, your co-workers will think you are making a joke. Ha ha just kidding, I've known how to make a pie chart on Excel since I was in kindergarten! No, preschool! I meant preschool!
And 3. If you can't upgrade your skills, upgrade your wardrobe. Who needs Excel, Powerpoint, flashy graphics, impressive spreadsheets, or compelling data? If you have a merino sweater, fitted slacks and designer shoes, people are sure to assume that you are competent. At least, that's what I tell myself.
I have a lot more to learn, I'm sure. But for now, I'm happy to drive to my big impressive office building which looks an awful lot like a little strip mall, toss my hat in the air like Mary Tyler Moore, and join my coworkers around the water cooler which is actually a coffee maker while we completely stress out over the incredible amount of work we need to get done in the next umpteen hours before we can finally go home and pop in a video of The Office and fall asleep within the first 30 seconds.
Life is good.