Monday, March 21, 2011

Big Hair

(me, as a baby. was i adorable or what?)

Mandatory Disclaimer:
I am totally stealing the topic for this blog post from Fran, whose blog (here) is always funnier than mine but only because she writes with a charming British accent which gives her an unfair advantage.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled blog:

I live in Texas, where Big Hair is a must. In fact, this is my next-door neighbor, who went a little overboard trying to live up to the Texas Big Hair tradition. While we shake our heads sympathetically at the end result, we all admire her for her good intentions.

In order to really pull off Texas Big Hair, you need naturally dense follicles like mine. Not that I'm bragging. But my hair is so Big, I could donate half of it to charity and still have enough left over for several Farrah Fawcett wigs.

My hair is so Big, when I get it thinned between cuts there's a pile on the floor the size of a Newfoundland puppy.

My hair is so Big, if I flip over and blow-dry it upside down it comes out looking exactly like this:

(no need to spray. it will stay that way all day long.)

Fortunately, I discovered a wonderful invention that lets me have semi-normal hair. It's called a Chi.

In 30 seconds, this amazing device heats up to a bazillion degrees, allowing me to tame my big, crazy, uncontrollable hair for the first time in my entire life. I highly recommend it if you have Big hair like mine.

BUT ... if you're using your Chi in the morning when you are half awake and it slips out of your grasp, do NOT try to catch it on the way down.

Trust me on this.



The Retired One said...


Fran said...

I can't believe you're not grateful for your big hair. It's outrageous.


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