Saturday, March 26, 2011

Sleep After 50

(must be nice ... clearly she is a long way from 50)

How To Sleep Like Someone Who Is Over Fifty:

1. Drink 6 glasses of water just before bedtime.

2. Sprain your ankle.

3. Turn the heat in your bedroom to 82 degrees. At midnight, turn the air conditioning to 55. An hour later, go back to 82. And so on.

4. Give up in frustration at 5 a.m. and tell yourself that you are extra smart and extra productive, since your days have at least 2 extra hours in them compared to everyone else. Slackers.

Warning: Do NOT sit down and watch a movie, read a book, or hold a warm snuggly sleeping baby at ANY time during your extremely long and productive day. In fact, don't sit down at all. You wouldn't want to fall asleep, would you?

Yeah. Me neither.



Debbie said...

I like your style. When I discovered I was in the midst of the great change...I knew I had two choices.
I could
A)Go into it kicking and screaming all of the way
B)Try to find humor in all things.

I chose B. It helps ease the sting.

Lesley said...

Thanks Debbie! I'm with ya, humor is definitely the way to go.

The Retired One said...

Oh, and don't forget to stab your stomach and intestines several times during the night so you can know what it feels like when you stupidly ate onions anytime in the last few WEEKS. We need a hotline so we can call each other when we are both awake during the wee hours of the morning!


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