How to publish an e-book

(chapter 1: in which our story never gets off the e-ground)

I know, I know, I've been promising y'all a book for some time now. Fortunately, the world of book publishing has become much easier in the last few years! In fact, I should have an e-book on Amazon any day now.

Gone are the days of having to find an agent. Today's authors don't even have to send out query letters, anxiously wait by the mailbox, and then burst into tears when rejections flood in with highly insensitive comments like "Not accepting manuscripts at this time" or "Not our genre" or the slightly more encouraging "Everyone has a story to tell. Perhaps you need to figure out what yours is, before you try to tell it."

No! Those days are over! Today, you can simply e-publish an e-book for free, and watch the royalty checks pour in!

Here's how you do it:

1. Write a book. Trust me, this is the easy part.

2. Visit the helpful Kindle Publishing Help Page for instructions on how to publish it.

3. Follow the easy step by step directions. Easy step one is "Formatting Your Text." I have been stuck on this easy step for three and a half weeks. But as soon as I figure it out, I will be ready for the next easy step! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!

Meanwhile, I am accepting pre-orders for my soon-to-be-best-seller so leave a comment to let me know how many e-copies you would like!

Any day now! I promise!

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