(i'm so old, I have equity in my house)
I'm pretty sure I am the oldest employee in my entire company. That doesn't bother me, but it does have some interesting financial implications.
1. I decided to max out my 401(k) contribution, as well as my Health Savings Account contribution, not to mention the special catch-up contributions they give me because I am a geezer who, let's face it, will never catch up.
2. As a result, my take-home pay is approximately $1.98 each week.
3. In fact, our company accountant called me to make sure I was aware that my take-home pay would no longer pay for a take-out pizza.
4. Yes, I told her, that's fine, I'm saving for retirement, which just might happen some day.
5. Unless the stock market crashes again.
6. Which is totally possible, as long as Goldman Sachs controls the world.
7. Which means I better keep working.
8. So I probably need some new clothes.
9. Which will cost a heck of a lot more than $1.98.
10. And in conclusion, my husband clearly needs to get a second job. Do you want to tell him, or should I?