What not to wear

(ditch the suit, dude. who ya trying to impress?)

It's been a busy week. You can tell I've been busy because I am just now, on Thursday, getting around to the Tuesday Heads or Tails topic. Click here to learn more about this fun weekly activity.

The theme for this week is "wear." So let's talk about my favorite TV show, What Not to Wear! My apologies to Misty Dawn, who wrote about the same show on her blog. I'll link it here so you can read hers, which I swear I did not copy, though I wouldn't put it past me.

Anyway. In case you tragically have not seen this excellent show, here is how it works:

1. Somebody's friends or family members submit their name to the show, complaining about their awful wardrobe and complete lack of style.

2. The show secretly videotapes the person, and sure enough they look awful.

3. The person is surprised by the charming hosts, embarrassed in front of all their friends, given a $5,000 Visa Card and whisked off to New York City for a makeover and a huge shopping spree, though as Misty pointed out, $5,000 would go a heck of a lot farther at my local Target, Macy's or Nordstrom Rack.

4. The person brings their entire wardrobe to NYC with them. The charming hosts ridicule each piece, one by one, and throw them in the trash.

And 5. The person endures two days of non-stop shopping, which they usually hate because, let's face it, if they loved shopping they would not be on the show in the first place. Then they are given a new haircut and new makeup and voila! Their lives are completely transformed!

So, ok. Here is how it would work for me:

1. My name would be submitted to the show by either my husband or my daughter. I work at home, so they are the only 2 people who see me. Except my granddaughter. And she likes my clothes just fine.

2. I would pack my entire wardrobe in a small paper bag. Or maybe I would just stuff it into the back pocket of my one and only pair of jeans.

3. The charming hosts would say, "Where is your wardrobe?" and I would pull out the following items:

~ one pair of brown plaid shorts that should be back in style any day now

~ one pair of ratty thermal sweat pants that keep me warm at night when *somebody* turns the air conditioning on even though it is ONLY 82 degrees outside

~ one gray t-shirt that says "Man Of Your Dreams" on the front

~ one brown linen skirt that could probably look very nice if I owned an iron

4. The hosts would feel so sorry for me, they would give me TWO $5,000 Visa cards, plus a new haircut and new makeup! And voila! My life would be transformed!

Nobody would know the difference, so I think I will use the Visa cards to rent a little villa in Tuscany for a couple of months. Anybody want to join me? Bring your faded jeans and ratty t-shirts. We'll have a good ol' time.

~~~