Why today's kids are always bored

(sure he's cute, but what does he DO?)

It's the middle of summer. So if there are kids in your house, you are probably hearing these 2 words over and over: "I'm borrrrrrred."

And it's no wonder! I mean, what do today's kids have to play with? Their toys are totally lame, unlike the exciting and wonderful toys we had back when I was a child.

Here are a few examples. The modern product descriptions, I swear, are word for word from the Toys R Us website:

WowWee FemiSapien Humanoid Robot

(she would have scared the heck out of us)

Sophisticated and independent, her advanced design and Artificial Intelligence allow her to move in distinctly fluid ways. She is intelligent and interactive, speaks her own language and responds to user gestures, touch, and sounds with her own.



Our version:

Chatty Cathy

(she looks a little frightened. maybe she just ran into a humanoid robot)

Just pull her string, and Chatty Cathy says one of 12 phrases including "I love you," "Does this dress make me look fat?" and "I want to be Barbie when I grow up. How about you?"


LeapFrog Leapster Learning Game System

(recommended ages: 4 to 10 ... when i was 4 nobody even expected me to wipe my own face)

Multiple learning levels, tailored tutorials and a wide variety of learning games that take advantage of both the multi-directional control pad and the easy to use stylus ensure that children are learning essential skills while playing the video games that they love. With Leapster, the name of the game is learning!


Our version:

Etch-A-Sketch

(see that picture? only a total genius could actually draw that on an etch-a-sketch)

Two little knobs ensure that children draw nothing but squares and ziggly little lines. With an Etch-a-Sketch the name of the game is frustration!

Step 2 Lifestyle PartyTime Kitchen

(this toy, which costs well over $100, is recommended for ages 2 to 5 ... if my parents ever spent that kind of money on a toy, the recommended ages would have been our entire lifetimes)

This upscale compact Lifestyle PartyTime kitchen provides three-sided play with numerous activities and accessories to encourage multi-child play, realistic electronic features, stainless steel look appliances, granite-look countertops, storage drawer and cabinets with authentic hardware. Coordinates with other Step2 LifeStyle products such Cooking Essentials Stool (sold separately).



Our version:

The Easy Bake Oven

(bandages and ointment sold separately)

Here is a brilliant idea for a children's toy! Plug in a 100-watt lightbulb, add reflectors, heat it up to a bazillion degrees, and be sure to include an open slot on the side so your little customers can use their tiny fingers to pry out the metal pans when their rubbery baked goods are finished.

After all, there is nothing to break up that summer boredom like a real, live ambulance and several fire trucks showing up at your very own house!!

~~~